Music

The Lover’s Garden

The Lover’s Garden takes you on a journey connecting personal experiences with the story of salvation - original innocence, the Fall, and then restoration through an encounter with Love and Mercy. The songs were sequenced in such a way that the whole album tells a story with one song flowing into the next, to give the sense that it is one long song. This reminds us that each of our lives is a song to God, sometimes with darker, solemn moments and at other times softened with the sweetness of love. While one will undoubtedly pick his or her favorites amongst the songs, I highly recommend listening to the album the whole way through at least once to connect with the story as a whole…and to find your own place within it. Enjoy!

“Forevermore”

Writing “Forevermore” was a different experience than usual. In February 2022, some friends of mine asked if I would sing a song during their foot-washing ceremony at their wedding reception, perhaps even one that I had written. At that point, there was not a song I had written that I thought would be appropriate so I offered to write one. Usually, I write songs that have already been borne from inspiration with the Holy Spirit. This, however, was starting from scratch and was pretty challenging from that perspective, but the Holy Spirit came through in a different writing experience.

It was beautiful to watch as the song transformed through the subsequent recording process (Thank you, Vincent Byrne Media!). After adding another verse, we realized that the song worked beautifully for a duet, which is fitting for this lovesong for marriage. Whether you are married, single, or entering a religious vocation, this song is a reflection of the commitment we are called to make in loving service to others, and most of all, of Christ’s extravagant love for us.

“A New Heart”

“A New Heart” was written on a beautifully inspired walk with Jesus amidst the winter trails in Colorado. Coming upon a stream, seeing how the water was flowing underneath the ice, and gazing at the nearby ledges that reflected upon the melted water, this song came upon my heart. What was needed for this song, however, was a guitarist. I am so grateful to Brian Lambert who not only provided guitar and vocals but also recorded this song and included it on the Christ in the City album, a missionary program in which we both served.

“Be My Light”

“Be My Light” was a collaborative effort with my friend Brian Tucker. At the heart of this song is a cry of longing for Jesus to come into our darkness.

I was on board a plane as the Christmas season was approaching and looked down at the houses in the dark. I thought about how much of Christmas in our culture has been commercialized and has lost its spiritual essence. The longing in this song extends for all to know the True Light of the World, the One Whom we all need to save us, whether it is felt or recognized yet or not. How beautiful and transformative would it be if we hung up our lights as an SOS sign to our Savior. No longer would it be just a cultural gesture but a real plea to our God to come into the dark in which we are waiting with our little sign of help and openness so we may receive the True Light…

“In Your light we see light” (Psalm36:9)

“Even the darkness is not dark to You, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You” (Psalm 139:12)

The Little Way EP

The Little Way EP is named after the Little Way to sainthood that St. Thérèse of Lisieux talks about. After reading 33 Days to Merciful Love by Fr. Michael Gaitley, MIC, I connected with St. Thérèse and the Little Way more than I ever had before. I found in her teachings such hope amidst my weakness and learned that I could trust in Jesus more deeply, not getting discouraged at the sight of my own weakness, but rather, finding cause for even deeper trust in Jesus to be my Savior – because of my great need.

While all three songs are connected with the Little Way, I remember specifically how the lyrics for Oh Little Child came from a prayer from the Father’s Heart toward His little child, myself, as well as you.

I hope you find consolation in knowing that your weakness is a guarantee for God’s help. All He asks is that you simply cry out to Him in your need. You need not even stand up on your own if you have not the strength. Simply look up, and He will be there to lift you onto the “elevator of His arms” that Thérèse speaks of.

“You’ll Find Rest”

In high school, I started to write more songs at the inspiration of a friend of mine who wrote, as well as from the encouragement of my piano teacher. Funny enough, the melody for this song came in the women’s bathroom at my school because the acoustics were great in there. My piano teacher encouraged me to finish one of my songs, so I picked this melody to go from and looked to the Bible for inspiration on the lyrics. I ended up going with one of my favorite passages, Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” It’s beautiful how the Lord can inspire our hearts anywhere we may find ourselves and can use anything for His glory…even a song that started in a high school bathroom.

Metamorphosis Album

At the close of my high school years, I wanted to record the songs I had written during this time of my life and saw this project as a sort of “capstone” to my high school career. It also acts as a kind of time capsule of my experiences from that time of my life. I chose the title Metamorphosis as an overall arch to the album, displaying my thoughts as an adolescent emerging into the grown woman God made me to be.

Looking back, the album’s name now has another shade of meaning. Its title coincides with how the album shows my growth since then as a person and a disciple. Listening to the songs again, I don’t fully agree with the message of independence I was trying to convey in “Past All These Voices.” I have learned since then that I can’t do anything on my own. Even Jesus says He can’t (John 5:30), and He said it’s the same for us (John 15:4-5). He has taught me that I do not need to react to my fears of inadequacy with self-reliance in order to “prove” myself. I’ve learned that there is more freedom in surrendering myself to Him in my weakness and allowing Him to care for me, at times through others, where I cannot do it on my own…And that is a much better, sweeter way.

The beauty about music is that songs can still find new meaning in Him, perhaps in ways the songwriter does not always intend but that God foresees.

In 2016, I had an opportunity to make these music videos with the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal and Spirit Juice Studios. I am grateful for their witness to trusting in Divine Providence throughout the process. We were unable to all practice together until the night before filming and briefly the morning of. After quickly finishing a brief practice together that morning, Fr. Tansi said, “Let’s see what the Holy Spirit does,” and it really impacted me. I felt like so much of this depended on us, but his simple remark brought me back to the reality that this was more a work of the Holy Spirit than it was our work. I could focus more on the Lord in my dependence on Him rather than on the frailty of my weakness measured against the largeness of the task before us. He would work through all our weaknesses to do something good and beautiful.

Rising is an original song by Fr. Tansi, CFR. Check out his album, Garden, here!